Do you feel at the end of your rope with your child or teen’s difficult behavior?
Does he or she argue all the time and refuse to follow rules, leaving you exhausted?
Is your child or teen refusing to do chores, talking back, lying, or showing other disrespectful behaviors?
Is he or she getting poor grades, despite high intelligence and capability?
Does he or she have trouble keeping up with self-care skills such as time management, money management, household chores or regular grooming?
Is your teen unbearably shy and have trouble maintaining or starting conversations and friendships?
Do you worry that your shy child will never have friends or always be lonely?
Is your young adult having difficulty completing college classes, holding a job, and being able to live on their own?
Does your child spend hours and hours in his or her room on their phone or video games, and refuse to participate in family life?
If you're a parent and can relate to one or more of the above situations, you are definitely not alone! Parenting has become even more of a complex juggling act in recent years, and our children are dealing with issues even more stressful than those we had growing up. On the one hand, you have compassion for your child or teen dealing with hormone changes, school and social pressures, but on the other, it can cause tremendous anxiety and irritation for parents when our little angels act out over and over again!
Luckily, as parents, we don't have to go it alone, although it can sometimes feel that way.
At the Body Image Counseling Center we have helped hundreds of families over the years, and many of them have experienced similar problems with their kids. Unfortunately, these are not problems that most parents want to admit they have with their children, and as a result, they are often ashamed or afraid to ask for help. If you are one of these parents, please know you are not alone! Asking for help is hard, but once you do, these problem behaviors can be eliminated relatively quickly.
I want to tell you about a form of life coaching called ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) or behavior modification. It is a strong solution for helping young people of all ages empower themselves, learn new skills, and be successful in life... and it can put a STOP to problem behaviors within a matter of weeks - really!
How Does Behavior Modification Stop Unwanted Behaviors in Children and Teens?
Behavior modification is successfully used to treat a variety of distressing teen problems, including aggression, acting out, eating disorders, and disrespectful attitude. Whether your child is struggling with mental health issues, social anxiety or making the right choices, our in-home behavior specialists can help your family create the positive changes you are desperately seeking in your child – all in the privacy of your own home.
Our coaches will help you learn that using positive reinforcers like praise, encouragement, or being given a privilege (such as getting to use the car, being allowed to have an extended curfew, or not having to do a certain chore) can do wonders in reinforcing good behavior and eradicating bad behavior. Negative reinforcers such as ignoring yelling or screaming, taking away privileges, such as phones, Ipods or car keys can also do a great deal to stop bad behavior.
With in-home behavior coaching, your child plays an active role in their own life coaching, instead of parents or other adults dictating the structure of rewards and behavior changes. This method also does not label your child a “problem” like traditional counseling approaches. It is presented as a form or tutoring or “life coaching” which eliminates the need say they are in “therapy”.
For some families, getting out of the house to attend sessions is extremely difficult. In that case, the help of an in-home ABA therapist can be a real life-saver, an additional plus to using this approach.
As a parent myself, I can almost hear what you’re saying now: “Wait! We’ve tried those things and they just don’t work. We’ve taken away the phone, we’ve tried to offer rewards and the changes never last. How will this be different?” Great question! To answer I would ask you to be honest and ask yourselves:
- Have we been consistent with setting limits over the long term?
- Have followed through with consequences EVERY time?
- Have we been firm with the rules despite our child’s attempts to argue and get us to back down?
- Have we consistently stayed positive and rewarded good behavior even when our child tries to push our buttons?
If your answer to some or all of these questions is no, don’t feel bad or think you are an awful parent. It’s extremely difficult to be consistent with a hormonal, energetic and emotional child or teen. That’s why in-home coaching can make such a huge difference in your success with upholding limits with your child and stopping the stress and conflict between you once and for all.
Think about this for a minute – did Michael Jordan, Oprah, or Adele achieve such great levels of success without employing coaches and advisors along the way? The same principle applies to parenting.
It’s OK to ask for coaching and help to guide your teen to extraordinary behavior.
Having an in-home coach will teach you to consistently create a supportive and caring environment that will show your teen the consequences of continued poor choices and help them learn how to make better decisions in the future. In fact, a behavior coach can help you and your teen create and follow a written contract that clearly states the terms of the reward system. Most importantly, she’ll support and guide you as parents to stay on track with the plan and not back down.
Here are some of the behaviors The Body Image Counseling Center can help your child develop:
Engaging in appropriate, non-eating disorder related conversations
Using eye contact
Completing chores the first time asked
Ending sarcasm, arguing and back-talk
Having courage to talk on the phone
Engaging in leisure activities with peers
Meal time interactions (Making meal times more enjoyable and less anxiety-provoking)
Daily living skills:
Trying new foods
Meal planning for the day/week
Creating a budget
Helping young adults “launch”, attend college, hold a job and support themselves.
Cooking meals independently (not relying on others to do so)
Grocery shopping independently
Tolerating being alone without using drugs
Going to appointments independently
Getting a part-time job
If you have been at the end of your rope with your child or teen’s behavior, don’t give up. Our coaches can come to your home and teach you how to stop the conflict and dangerous behaviors rapidly, and also help you and your child feel closer. It’s completely private and confidential. If you would like a free 15 minute phone consult to discuss your child’s specific situation and how we can help, just call us at 904-737-3232 or fill out a confidential appointment request form below. We will be in touch with you TODAY.
Read more about Help for Parents:
Is your child or teenage so anxious about school they refuse to go?
Are they having trouble getting out of bed in the morning and leaving the house on time? Is your child obsessed over getting into the "right" college?
Does he or she tell you often that they "hate school" and/or feel suicidal because of school realted stress? read more...
The words drama and teenager seem to go hand-in-hand. At one time or another, every teen goes through a period of defiance and push back towards their parents. These can be frustrating times, but there are many things you can do to put a stop to the backtalk and navigate through this challenging time. read more...
Are you struggling with your child’s oppositional behavior? Do they talk back, refuse to do chores, and “push your buttons?” Oppositional behavior can be frustrating to deal with as a parent. When it’s happening, you may feel like there’s nothing you can do to stop it. However, there are many solutions within your control that you can start using today to improve the situation. read more...
The other day a friend and I were sitting over a cup of coffee and reminiscing about how we celebrated the holidays with our families when we were teenagers. “I loved Christmas when I was a little kid,” said Angie. “My brothers and sisters and I would wake up before dawn and sneak down to see if Santa had eaten the cookies we had set out for him, and then wake our parents so we could open presents under the tree”. read more...
It's Lori here from The Body Image Counseling Center and I'd like to applaud you for taking the first step to getting help for your child's eating disorder by visiting this website and searching for the right information to help your child recover from a dangerous eating disorder. I’m concerned, however, that you may be feeling ashamed or guilty despite your best efforts to help them. read more...
A few years ago I saw a story on Good Morning America about a married couple whose job is to scout for potential supermodels. The story featured three teenage girls (ALL already painfully thin, I may add) who were "discovered" by this pair. read more...
The biggest mistake that therapists make when it comes to eating disorders is to not ask about them at all. Many therapist and treatment providers do not have an adequate eating disorder assessment section in their intakes read more..
Eating disorders are a growing and alarming problem among teenage girls. Girls may chronically overeat, or at the opposite extreme, may starve themselves in an effort to look thin. When a person diets to the point of losing 25% or more of her normal body weight, she is suffering from a condition called anorexia nervosa. read more...
In our fast food culture, mealtime in many homes is no longer a time of family togetherness. Find your family’s own ways to express gratitude for bounty and to appreciate food (after all, we need food in order to live. You can also give your child responsibility for one part of each meal -- saying blessings, setting the table... read more...
Are you and your partner experiencing relationship difficulties due to parenting stress? Parenting can be one of the hardest jobs in the world, and stress is amplified when your relationship is caught in the crossfire. Here are some ideas to consider and tips to improve the situation before your relationship is beyond repair. read more...
Is your toddler, child or teen reluctant to eat in front of other people? Does he or she have only a few foods that they prefer and are those options becoming fewer and fewer over time? The “Picky Eater” is a common experience for most parents who have toddlers. read more...
Are you concerned about your teenager’s ability to manage money wisely? Today’s financial landscape is more complicated and risky than that of previous generations. However, there are ways to empower your teen to make smart money choices now, as well as provide skills that will help them become more independent adults. read more...
Are you worried about your child or teen’s lack of social skills? Do you think your child is too shy, doesn’t have any friends, or is pushing potential friends away? Is your child struggling to communicate effectively with you or others because they become frustrated or angry? Does he or she seem unable to understand the complex social situations they face at school? read more...
Does your child struggle with anxiety, especially in social situations? Do you want your child to feel relaxed and enjoy a more fulfilling social life? It’s possible. Even better, they can get the help they need at home, where they feel the most comfortable. Soon, your child can feel confident and prepared for what the world has to offer. read more...
Is your child struggling with certain behaviors such as school phobia, extreme shyness, disrespectful behavior, refusal to complete chores, or procrastinating on homework? Is your young adult having difficulty completing college classes, holding a job, and being able to live on their own? read more...
It’s that time of year again when young people head back to college and school. Unfortunately many of them take more than their bedding and books with them; up to 25% of college students also return with an untreated eating disorder. read more...
I've had a lot of distraught parents calling me in the last few weeks because they just found out their child is suffering from anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating or body dysmorphic disorder. read more...
Does he or she argue all the time and refuse to follow rules, leaving you exhausted? Is he or she getting poor grades, despite high intelligence and capability? Does he or she have trouble keeping up with self-care skills such as time management, money management, household chores or regular grooming? read more...