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Blog: Help for Couples

Thirteen Secrets to Finding Fabulous Friends and Love Relationships
As a certified Gottman educator and a couples coach, I talk to a lot of people who are either in strained and unsatisfying love relationships, or who are desperately searching for Mr. or Mrs. “Right”. I thought it would be helpful to offer a blog series on the 13 secrets I’ve learned over twenty years as a couples coach on how to find fabulous friends and love relationships.
Successful Relationships Secret #2: Overcome your shyness.
Our first secret in finding fabulous friends and love relationships was, ironically, to learn to enjoy being alone. But what if you’re fine being alone, but have trouble meeting people? Often I counsel people who are very, very shy and experience social anxiety. They have a lot of trouble taking social risks. They can entertain themselves just fine, but they are afraid to talk to people. Many introverts say they like their own company but still crave deep, meaningful friendships and love relationships. You can’t discover those relationships if you spend most of your time alone.
Should your inner circle be your outer circle?
In my work with helping individuals with eating disorders I have learned that negative thoughts and poor boundary setting are two of the most dangerous enemies of full recovery. Conversely, one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal to help you turn negative thoughts around is a rock-solid support group, or what I call your inner circle.
Are You Terrified To Be Alone?
Published December 15, 2014 | By Lori Osachy
Did you know that learning how to be alone is one of the most important steps in eating disorder recovery?

Why?

It’s essential to learn the difference between aloneness and loneliness. Loneliness is a very normal emotion; sometimes we pine for other people, and we do need community in order to be emotionally (and physically!) healthy. However, a critical task in life is learning how to be alone, how to enjoy your own company, how to not need other people to entertain yourself or feel good about yourself.
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